Welcome to the battlefield – Ignore the field of crushed dreams

In the last few years MOBA’s have seen a rise in popularity. With platforms ranging from the casual style of play (League of Legends) to the hardcore (Heroes of Newerth). It may be confusing, or even outright intimidating to actually wet your feet with these games.

Luckily for you…I’m taking the time to guide you…Come noob, come and let me show you the dark side of competitive gaming.

The Basics

For the uninformed, a MOBA is a game that focuses on PVP. As much as you can twist and turn, you cannot avoid this fact. The games entire premise relies on your use of a character, knowing its mechanics,  farming up a dragons hoard of currency in game, and playing it effectively enough against a team of 5. You will start at level one each game and build according to the enemy team, countering, outplaying and pub stomping your way to victory…….Or abject humiliating defeat

Sound easy? Ready to hop in and 360 no scope your way to the top? Pause, hold up let’s get you familiar with the character types.

Your character will usually fall into one of several roles.

The Tank

You want me to jump into that?!

You’re big, you’re swole, and you take the hits. Your mechanics are mostly defensive. When there is a team fight, your face is usually the one at the front taking the hits that your team aren’t built to take. Games are made or broken on your back, and no one even notices you! Pheh, the nerve of some people!

The Support

Aka it’s all your damn fault!

The unsung hero of any MOBA ever to have existed in the history of ever. Your purpose is to assist the egomaniacal ranged attacker in the early game, save the overzealous tank in fights, provide sight for your team to move safely, and generally be the one everyone blames when they get themselves killed. The type of player that mains this is a saint and your life is made so much easier by them.

The Damage

I came here to $%^& things up and chew bubble gum…..And I’m all outta bubblegum.

Because this takes many different forms ex: Assassin, Mage, Fighter etc, I’m going to explain the basic premise.

You usually have a sharp object in your hand. This sharp object needs to get from point a: your hand, to point b: the enemy’s face hole. Your whole kit revolves around this premise. Be you a mage, substitute a sharp object for glittery fire magics, or a ranged attacker, substitute sharp object for ranged sharp object.

Your entire life revolves around hurting people and being good at it. So get good, or pick another role, because people can be vicious and really hurt feelings…..

But Alllllt! I want to jump in! I don’t care about the roles! Hand me a shotgun and let me camp already!

GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHh you don’t just jump in! And calm down I’m almost done pub stomping these noobs as Devo!!

Before you go jumping in all halfcocked and get someone to yell at you, let me tell you something. These games, and any game wearing the MOBA tag are all about teamwork. Yes you heard me, and stop giving me that look! Sure there are going to be the games where you army of one the team, but by in large these games are about finding your role, doing your part, helping the team, a foreign concept for most. The communities can be sometimes toxic, corpulent cesspits where the strong prey on the feelings of the weak, and these things can make your experience unpleasant. But those of us that trudge through and learn the game can find thriving communities and meaningful friendships. Hey you even try hard enough and you could join a competitive team!

Oh, you seem interested now….

Where did these games come from? You ask? Well put down that copy of Hotline Miami and I’ll tell you. We’re going to go back to a magical time…A simpler time. Long before many of the children that rage on call of duty were even conceived, 2003.

The first MOBA was created. Defense of the ancients- a mod of Warcraft 3 that developed a cult following. This grew into the creators of the game splintering off to create the other offshoots of the game- League of Legends (2009), Heros of Newerth(2010-By), its official successor Dota2 (2013), and the most recent  Smite (2014).

“Now that’s all well and good…” I hear you sneer, “but what makes one hardcore and the other casual?’

Well darn…You got me……Kinda.

When I use the term casual or hardcore, I’m not speaking about the game itself, I’m speaking about the mechanic.

For example: League of Legends- Arguably the MOBA front runner is considered “casual” by MOBA players due to the fact that upon death, (and lord knows you will die as much as any Darksouls player) you don’t lose gold, thereby stifling you becoming stronger.

However a game like Heroes of Newerth punishes the player upon death, awarding the killer with gold but penalizing the victim.

Why on earth would I do that!?”

You shout, looking upon the login screen of HoN with abject terror. Well the answer dear friend is very simple. No matter what you play, the bitter battlefields of Heroes of the Storm, or the war-torn woods of HoN, the games are a fulfilling and fun way to spend a few hours. You’ll meet your fair share of asshats, you’ll meet your fair share of elitists, but overall you’ll find a rewarding experience worth spending countless hours mastering.

So now my friend you’re ready to try your hand at Devo hooking…Nova sniping……And blitz grabbing your way to the top. The only advice I have left for you…..Is never…..EVER CHASE TEEMO INTO A BUSH!